New Year and Letting Go of a Decade

It has been a hectic 2013. 

I went back to school to finish my course. After 6 years of working and just living independently, it was a major change for me. All of my classmates were significantly younger than I am. Although there's a plus for being older, their youth makes me wonder sometimes if the past years were a waste.

But then again, if I did not stop and for once stood up for myself, I would not have experienced everything, met some of the greatest people and live life unsheltered.

As for 2014:

- Determination on Losing Weight
- Focus on Graduating
- Change my Outlook in Life

These are my only aims for now since as a student, everything should revolve around school first. I know it is somewhat boring and I thrive for the drama BUT as for now, memories will quench the thirst. There are poignant feelings every time I see events that friends posts and I'm not there but I will live vicariously through them.

To end this, I would like to say GOODBYE to 10 years of friendship from my ex-best friend. He lived through most of my growing up years. Thank you for introducing me to who I am today. Thank you for making me realize that in friendship, years does not matter. I once planned my future with you and I will never regret that. You gave up on this friendship and I am just letting go. 

"Koi" Arias, it was your choice and I hope you are happy with this choice. Your happiness means a lot to me. I am sorry that I was insecure with our friendship BUT you never once assured me through words or actions how important I am to you. I was always in the backseat and I let you. Somtimes I just want to feel that I am special to you. It is too late now. Remember this though: I loved you, I love you and I will always love you. 

You got your wish, NO MORE DRAMA FROM ME. This will be the last time I will touch this topic.

~ JMP ~

Yes, I am Proud to be Pansexual

I am not fond of labels but if you want to label my sexuality, then yes, I am Pansexual.

People tend to confuse Pansexuality with Bisexuality. Bisexuality comes from the word BI, meaning two. They get attracted to either male or female. However, Pansexual comes from Pan, in Greek terms meaning ALL. 

We get attracted to the personality rather than the sexuality. However, it really does not matter what you are. 

From the mouth of one of the greatest singers of all times, " It matters not who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love or how you love, it matters only that you love." -John Lennon

A New Beginning?

Back to school.

I will try to finish this now. It has been years but I am still not giving up. I am ready to pursue this. A year and a half I will have my diploma. I will try my best this time. Alone.

~ JMP ~

Between A Rock And A Hard Place

I should have never helped out a friend in the first place.

First, I moved to a new place so that she can have someone who can share a rent with.

Second, I asked if I can bring her dog to my parent's place since I can see that she is stressed out and does not need a reminder of her ex-husband, which is the reason why we moved in together in the first place.

Now, she's moved out of her place and wants the dog back since she has a new life. 

Also, my parent's wants compensation for the food and the care that they provided for the dog since the dog is living with my parent's for almost 5 months now. 

I am between a rock and a hard place right now. What I will do is just return the dog and pay my parents so that both parties will be happy. (I don't even have a job right now)

And this will be the last time I will help out someone. 


~ JMP ~

Mountains Out of Molehills

All people are really fickle minded, not only women. Sometimes you may think that since as friends, you are so close that jokes are okay but in the end, it backfires and all people get angry for you on something that there's no basis at all. Making a big deal out of nothing.

If it was something to be guilty about then go ahead and get mad but if it's just a joke, how come people don't get it? Why is it okay for other people to make fun of me but it's not okay for me to make fun of them?

I guess the fickleness of the situation really bugs me. If they do not want to be friends anymore then don't. I'm tired of being used. I'm tired of pleasing everybody.

I cried. This is my first time crying for a straight friend. Wow. No more.

You do things for your "friends" just to please them but in the end, just a little mistake can ruin everything. I'm tired of saying I'm sorry for a joke that went wrong. As a matter of fact, they won't hear me tell jokes anymore.

What really irks me most is that the joke was based on nothing but gossip. There are secrets that could have been used as a joke but no, since it was too close to home, it was not used because both parties does not know each others secrets at all. Sighs.


I am just happy that I have real friends who loves and accepts me for who I am, hung ups and all. That's what I am thankful for right now.

No more drama. I'm done with this shit.

~ JMP ~

Going Through Life

New Year, Valentine's Day, Graduation Rites... Just some events happening month by month.

It has been a tedious cycle now. I don't know if I can hold on any longer to this job. I'ts been almost 2 years since I first started and here I am, still in the same level. 

I know I'm being a brat complaining about a good job with an above minimum wage but does it always have to be like this?

Everything in my like is a complete 0. Love = 0, Family = 0, Savings = 0, Health = 0, Academics = 0

Congratulations on being 0.

October to December

it's been hectic these past few months.

My birthday last October... Wow, I'm 27 now.

Christmas Parties...

And fantasizing about someone...

Ups and Downs. I have that but I still can't wait to see what 2013 has in store for me.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!