I Am Definitely Moving On

It has been a while since I posted here. I can definitely say that it was a roller coaster ride to get to where I am.

I finally graduated! I am currently doing a review before taking the August liscensure exam.

Tears, sweat and blood was used to get where I am. I am stoked!!!!

Yes, him.

Forgive me, Lord

Forgive me Lord for I have sinned... again.

I just can't stop sleeping with my Best Friend every time we see each other. He is still in a relationship with another man. 

I need to stop!

~ JMP ~

No matter how hard I tried to be happy, I still feel empty inside. I'm writing this since nobody will listen and will understand me.

What's happening Cebu Pacific?

Hello Cebu Pacific Air Management:

I'm just quite appalled with what's happening on your company. First, with what happened to that "Manager" (though we really do not know the story but the basic information was there) and now with another person, Dodong Ditoon (affiliated with your company basing on his profile), on how he replies and belittles your customers in this page.

It saddens me that one great company is in jeopardy because of these kind of people and how they treat their customers. And basing on his comments, we are after all just the little people and if we do not purchase your tickets, it's "walang kawalan" in your company.

Thank you for having these kind of employees, who makes customers feel "verry happy".

Sincerely,

The Little People

~JMP~

#CebuPacific #BadService

A Much Needed Vacation Before the Semi Final Exams

It was the vacation I needed to bring me back from my stupor. The adrenalin rush by conquering the longest zipline in Asia, battling the waves and riding hard the rough terrain was the cure and what the doctor surely prescribed. Now, on to tackle my Semi Finals Exam! I can do this!

~ JMP ~

New Year and Letting Go of a Decade

It has been a hectic 2013. 

I went back to school to finish my course. After 6 years of working and just living independently, it was a major change for me. All of my classmates were significantly younger than I am. Although there's a plus for being older, their youth makes me wonder sometimes if the past years were a waste.

But then again, if I did not stop and for once stood up for myself, I would not have experienced everything, met some of the greatest people and live life unsheltered.

As for 2014:

- Determination on Losing Weight
- Focus on Graduating
- Change my Outlook in Life

These are my only aims for now since as a student, everything should revolve around school first. I know it is somewhat boring and I thrive for the drama BUT as for now, memories will quench the thirst. There are poignant feelings every time I see events that friends posts and I'm not there but I will live vicariously through them.

To end this, I would like to say GOODBYE to 10 years of friendship from my ex-best friend. He lived through most of my growing up years. Thank you for introducing me to who I am today. Thank you for making me realize that in friendship, years does not matter. I once planned my future with you and I will never regret that. You gave up on this friendship and I am just letting go. 

"Koi" Arias, it was your choice and I hope you are happy with this choice. Your happiness means a lot to me. I am sorry that I was insecure with our friendship BUT you never once assured me through words or actions how important I am to you. I was always in the backseat and I let you. Somtimes I just want to feel that I am special to you. It is too late now. Remember this though: I loved you, I love you and I will always love you. 

You got your wish, NO MORE DRAMA FROM ME. This will be the last time I will touch this topic.

~ JMP ~

Yes, I am Proud to be Pansexual

I am not fond of labels but if you want to label my sexuality, then yes, I am Pansexual.

People tend to confuse Pansexuality with Bisexuality. Bisexuality comes from the word BI, meaning two. They get attracted to either male or female. However, Pansexual comes from Pan, in Greek terms meaning ALL. 

We get attracted to the personality rather than the sexuality. However, it really does not matter what you are. 

From the mouth of one of the greatest singers of all times, " It matters not who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love or how you love, it matters only that you love." -John Lennon

A New Beginning?

Back to school.

I will try to finish this now. It has been years but I am still not giving up. I am ready to pursue this. A year and a half I will have my diploma. I will try my best this time. Alone.

~ JMP ~

Between A Rock And A Hard Place

I should have never helped out a friend in the first place.

First, I moved to a new place so that she can have someone who can share a rent with.

Second, I asked if I can bring her dog to my parent's place since I can see that she is stressed out and does not need a reminder of her ex-husband, which is the reason why we moved in together in the first place.

Now, she's moved out of her place and wants the dog back since she has a new life. 

Also, my parent's wants compensation for the food and the care that they provided for the dog since the dog is living with my parent's for almost 5 months now. 

I am between a rock and a hard place right now. What I will do is just return the dog and pay my parents so that both parties will be happy. (I don't even have a job right now)

And this will be the last time I will help out someone. 


~ JMP ~

Mountains Out of Molehills

All people are really fickle minded, not only women. Sometimes you may think that since as friends, you are so close that jokes are okay but in the end, it backfires and all people get angry for you on something that there's no basis at all. Making a big deal out of nothing.

If it was something to be guilty about then go ahead and get mad but if it's just a joke, how come people don't get it? Why is it okay for other people to make fun of me but it's not okay for me to make fun of them?

I guess the fickleness of the situation really bugs me. If they do not want to be friends anymore then don't. I'm tired of being used. I'm tired of pleasing everybody.

I cried. This is my first time crying for a straight friend. Wow. No more.

You do things for your "friends" just to please them but in the end, just a little mistake can ruin everything. I'm tired of saying I'm sorry for a joke that went wrong. As a matter of fact, they won't hear me tell jokes anymore.

What really irks me most is that the joke was based on nothing but gossip. There are secrets that could have been used as a joke but no, since it was too close to home, it was not used because both parties does not know each others secrets at all. Sighs.


I am just happy that I have real friends who loves and accepts me for who I am, hung ups and all. That's what I am thankful for right now.

No more drama. I'm done with this shit.

~ JMP ~

Going Through Life

New Year, Valentine's Day, Graduation Rites... Just some events happening month by month.

It has been a tedious cycle now. I don't know if I can hold on any longer to this job. I'ts been almost 2 years since I first started and here I am, still in the same level. 

I know I'm being a brat complaining about a good job with an above minimum wage but does it always have to be like this?

Everything in my like is a complete 0. Love = 0, Family = 0, Savings = 0, Health = 0, Academics = 0

Congratulations on being 0.

October to December

it's been hectic these past few months.

My birthday last October... Wow, I'm 27 now.

Christmas Parties...

And fantasizing about someone...

Ups and Downs. I have that but I still can't wait to see what 2013 has in store for me.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!

Promises broken

Sometimes we tend to make some promises to ourselves that we will do this and that. I broke too many promises already.

1. Finish my Wattpad story.

2. Diet and Exercise.

3. Drink to a minimum.

4. Save.

But what I did not break was the promise I will stay the same with you. I guess yours was just a drunken moment. Some friend you are.

I'm free!

No more anger. No more hurt. It feels like I am free of all negativity in my life. To forgive, to forget and to move on with life. Thank you for the chance of being positive again and letting me see that there's always a positive twist in every bad thing that would happen into our lives. The challenge is in finding it.

On another note, my mom needs to have a biopsy again. This time it's for her cervix. Although it is quite depressing if you really think about it but I know everything will be okay. I just need to think positively about this.

Not being hypocritical, even if I do not pray like how others would pray, my mantra is "Lord, let it be okay". 

Thank you.

~ JMP ~

I can't take it anymore

I guess I can't take it anymore. This is where I can be true so why hide at all?

Have you experienced the feeling of being bittersweet yet so poignant that you can't pinpoint which is the bitter and the sweet?

You trusted someone and you can't imagine how a trust can turn so treacherous... The bitterness I felt was because I considered you as a friend. I thought, of all people, you would understand. You would support me. But there you are, just because I was not there, you kissed him. Was it sweet?

I need to wash my hands on this. You said you miss me. He said, he misses me. I can't just see the two of you and think of you as friends anymore. You knew and he knew how I felt about him. You know how I treasure our friendship and how I treasure what he and I had.

I don't' have the right, I know. But you also don't have the right to back-stab me even if you did not mean to. It's over, Lestat.

Post Valentines Post

Valentines was a so so affair. I had work until 8:30 PM. While on my way, you can see couples holding hands and kissing. Well, good for them.

I had dinner with "Heart". It made me smile because after two weeks of silence from both of us due to a misunderstanding, we made up on February 14.

Instead of being with his special someone, he celebrated it with me. We had dinner at Handuraw. Pizza, Potato joejoe, Tortilla chips in Chili dip, Mojito Cocktails and dinner was lovely.

It's funny how sometimes we are almost going to let go of someone and in the end, they insisted to stay and be part of your journey.

Dad and Mom, at their 25th

Sinulog Festival

Wow! I feel so tired for the last few days. I had already promised myself that unless it's not a special occasion, I would not drink and smoke after the Sinulog Festival.

It was a crazy weekend. There were many people in the streets to party for Sinulog. Each year, I realized that Sinulog is not for glorifying anymore but it's a reason for people to party, watch the street dance, and for pigging out. It is a reason for multitude of sins. Hm, I'm not a crazy fanatic and I do believe what is wrong and right but it is really sad how people evolved from the religious connotation that Sinulog possessed in the past. The fireworks were amazing though.

I am starting to exercise again and maybe in a week or two I will go back and enroll in a gym. I am not sure about that yet but I am going to take care of myself for sure. Eat healthy food, lessen all the bad vices and just positive thoughts to attract positive energy.

I'm planning on adding more ink to my back. A big cross would be a good addition. Thinking about it still but by February, I would definitely have added a new design.

A New Lease of Life

It has been a crazy 2011. My wish for 2012 is to have it crazier.

It's my desire to have a baby this year. It's an age that my heart just wanted to love someone unconditionally and someone who would not leave you when the next nice thing comes.

I had the talk with my BFF about it and we have already outlined the plan on what to do and how to handle it. I'm just hoping we can stick to our plans for this year before the baby comes. I am really excited about it.

I would need to curb my lifestyle and stop my vices. I'm happy I am doing it with Bes. At least the father of my child is someone that I do love and is my soul-mate.